I think this photo is actually harder to share than my 'before' bikini pics were.
Probably because I'm not normally in a bikini, but I am normally in a tee and jeans, and often cooking.
So I must have looked like this.
I'd been hiding away - I honestly now don't know why - from thinking about, confronting my weight gain for so long.
I'd known for a while, for months (ok, years), that it was only a matter of time until I 'did' something about it. But it was as if I were waiting for something really bad to happen before I did it.
I suppose luckily, it wasn't a health scare that was that bad thing. It was an image scare.
I'd thought I'd kind of looked ok. I only looked in the mirror at certain angles and I took carefully-angled selfies (face only) - time to be really honest now. You never really see unexpected sides or angles, or what you actually look like unless you try.
And then one day - doing what I love, cooking, at a friend's - she took this photo of me.
And that was the really bad thing that had to happen.
This was the moment, this was the picture that finally made me take action.
And you know the weirdest thing? Like any fear, it's always worse thinking about it. When you DO IT and take action, the fear's kind of gone.
This photo made me cry. A couple of days later when I stood on the scales and confronted the reality that made me cry too.
Enough was enough - time to take action.
But that was in April, and I haven't felt that awful out-of-control feeling about my body, my eating or my weight since.
We all have a trigger, or a moment that's the one that makes us act.
This was mine.
What I know is - get brave, make a decision, take responsibility and also ENJOY getting results and being happy with your body again.
27 weeks later and 38 pounds lighter, I am.
There's another round starting MONDAY 9 JANUARY of my 8-week Tiniest Thai eating programme - where I'm sharing what I've changed about my diet and way of eating that's seen my lose the pounds, get happy again in my skin, feeling great - all while eating delicious, healthy Thai-inspired food.
Want to join us? Find out more here.