growth

Why do I blog, why do I want to share?

I'm not sure any more, right now.

I'm not sure why I'm blogging and why I share, or wanted to share, or what it's for.

Is it just for me, in which case I can journal more?

Am I writing for my book?

Or is it just because I can't NOT?

Well, that's what I used to think and was impelled to do, immediately, often.  Something would just make me get up - sometimes out of bed at night - and WRITE it out that second.

And I'm getting the same compulsion but without the feeling that it has to be shared too ... oh what IS this all about?

Doubts doubts doubts doubts.

I don't know why ... does my writing help anyone, does it just help me?

DOES it help me to share - I thought to - it was like I couldn't stop writing when the words just came - and the words did just come sometimes in fully formed sentences.

I don't know.

Is this part of the same change these last couple of months - calmer, softer, quieter .... and what is it I need to do and be.  

My stepping into and being and living graceful, playful.

ME.

I don't know but I'm sharing this now, because sharing was my compulsion and now that the things I'm being called to write and think about are quieter, softer and I'm not sure if I want to share ...

Maybe right now when I question it ...

Maybe I DO need to continue to just write it out and ... 

Press publish.  

Share. 
 



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LOVE ... real self-love

In my journaling this morning I was exploring why it can feel so hard just to do the things that make you feel good, that really nourish and nurture you ...

I KNOW I feel better, stronger, calmer, happier when I practice yoga every day but I stopped during that heatwave a couple of weeks ago and despite knowing how good it makes me feel ... I fell out of the habit.

So last night I got my mat out and yes - it was only a 7-minute practice - but the 'hard' part was deciding, and getting the mat out. And deciding at 10.30pm to make time to start again right then - that felt really good.

Same with my 'daily' journaling - I'm not sure how but the last few weeks it's only been maybe half the week.

And I really notice the difference - spending that 15 mins or so with my own thoughts and affirmations, my own 'stuff' - before reacting to other people's and 'stuff' and well, the WORLD, clears my head, sets me up for success - again, how does it sometimes feel so hard to do what we know will feel so good.

More than that, what we NEED really.

Same with food choices, same with so many areas of life.

And as always it's simply about making a decision, a commitment and making real 'self love' a priority.


Rachel Redlaw real self love

PS. My fave 'LOVE' tee by Ruth Ridgeway at ruthxo.com