choose habits

Creating habits / mindset lessons from my dog

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHY, HE JUST KNOWS WE DO IT

Mindset training from my dog.

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He doesn't know why we do it, he just knows that's how it is.

There are two gates leading outside to the street from the front gardens of my apartment block.

The central one I use most of the time.

The other, to the right, is by the gate that leads to the bikes and bins area.

My dog never used to want to wait and go through the gate and walk up the bins area if, say, I couldn't find a bin outside and had a poo bag and needed to get rid of it.

He resisted, he pulled, he didn't see why we couldn't go straight home.

And then I remembered how clever he is and how I need to communicate with him, and that I was confusing him.

So I started ONLY EVER using that outside gate to the street to come in, IF I was then going straight across to the gate that leads to the bins.

Every other time, we use the middle gate and go home.

After only maybe three or four times, he got it.

Now ... we're out having a walk, he does his business, and when I choose that we enter using that gate near the bin gate, well, he rushes ahead of me to wait at the gate to the bin area.

It's quite a large area, with trees, bikes locked, lawn, the wildflower strip to encourage bees and right at the end the recycling and waste bins.

He runs straight up to them, I throw in the little bag, we turn and go straight back out.

Every single time.

I cannot mess this up now of course.

If I were to come in through THAT gate and not the middle gate when I actually want to go straight home ... he would not only be confused but the whole thing would be called off.

Routine, discipline, call it what you will.

BELIEF even - because I can tell you if I ever make a mistake and come through that gate near the bin gate and don't have a poo bag in my hand? I'm STILL going to go up to those big bins and make a throwing movement like I have.

It didn't take long at all, just literally a few times from when I committed that I only used that gate when we then also went to the bins.

And now, for my dog, it's a fact.

it just IS.

That gate, another gate, a run to the bins, turn around and back.

That's just how it is.

And that's how I learn too, through this observing.

Of course, it's the same for me. That's just how it is.

I feel good when I do yoga and journal. It's just how it is.

Ahh but WHEN do I do them?

When I feel like it?

No .. THAT is not a routine or a habit.

i think the example I learned from my dog is perfect.

You do x and so then you do y.

Habits need not just consistency but a trigger.

I do x and then I do y.

One thing then another. One thing links to another. Links create strength.

Habits form, choices become facts.

I wake up and stretch.

I stretch and then I get up.

I get up and then I drink water.

I drink water and then I put the kettle on.

I make hot water and lemon.

I make a little espresso which becomes an iced coffee blended with almond milk.

This means I take it back to bed with my laptop and I journal while I drink it.

This means that that happens.

We come in this door so we go to that door.

This gate leads to that gate.

That's the way it is.

I don't have to understand it but that's how it is.

And I can choose and create ever more powerful habits which actually are UNDERSTANDINGS and BELIEFS ... that simply.

This begets that.

This then that.

After this then that.

That's just the way it is.

It's what I do.

It's what I believe.

And so it is.

If you don't choose your habits, they'll choose you

If you don't consciously decide what you want, consciously create your life?

Guess what?

Yep. Life happens anyway.

And like many things, maybe it's easier to start small, rather than big, like, well, LIFE.

Smaller things get you into the HABIT of creating what you want and achieving them and building that practice.

Small things add up to become big things (I know you know this, I'm not being patronising, just thinking out loud).

And talking of habits, habits are a great place to start.

If you don't consciously choose your habits ... guess what?

Your habits will choose - and define, BECOME you. Part of you.

What you do and what you choose is who you are - and you can change that at any time.

Without consciously choosing habits you might find habits find you ...

The habit of watching TV mindlessly.

The habit of endlessly scrolling Facebook, looking for something, anything interesting and thought-provoking.

Oh and similarly, the habit of feeding yourself food that doesn't have the nourishment, the nutrition, your body needs and craves, so again you're left hungry, endlessly wanting more.

But what more?

Housework habits, 'duty' habits, oh-I-have-to-do-the-ironing habits ... then flop on the sofa for some TV.

THESE habits are often masking that you haven't CHOSEN your true 'YOU' habits.

Well, not so for everyone I guess.

I suppose some people genuinely choose to do these things (and for most people YES sometimes) ... and that's great ... but when it's not a choice, it's a mindless HABIT?

You know you can choose another habit?

Starting with perhaps how do you WANT to feel?

NOT how do you currently feel.

Giving in to the voice of the how you NOW feel will NEVER move you into being how you WANT to feel, to be.

You have to consciously choose it.

How you want to feel and who you want to be.

The person who gets home after a long day (ok, many long days, this isn't a one-off) and eats a takeaway full of goodness-knows-what whilst slumped in terrible posture watching - well, do you even know what? - on TV.

YES, sometimes.

But also, YES you're exhausted and stressed and tired ... but you CAN also choose other habits.

It doesn't have to be hard.

Some things (including plenty of recipes on my site) are easier and quicker to cook fresh than to heat up or order in.

And it's all about TRUE self-care and looking after you.

That means choosing a shower, choosing a great book, choosing a quick stretch or yoga online practice to keep it easy (I do).

(I'm not saying you instantly turn into someone who wants to go to the gym at 9pm, but hey you MIGHT choose that, now you think about what you want to choose).

It might mean writing, journaling, a Skype with a friend, learning something new.

Habits become non-negotiables in your life (like cleaning your teeth).

Mine aren't (yet) always so, but I really, really now feel it and miss it when I don't for whatever reason DAILY:

- journal in the morning
- make good food choices that nourish me (and taste great of course)
- move my body in some way (usually Yoga With Adriene
- personally I also love to cook so a day without cooking something makes me feel 'off'

Ha! Just caught myself I thinking I need to think of more than these three / four ... but WHY?

I'm all about making it easy and you know it's actually not always that easy to do those three or four key things.

Isn't that funny, how our human brains almost want to make things HARDER?!

These are my chosen habits - that make me feel great, give me a foundation for my day - when I do them I feel stronger, clearer, more able to get everything else done.

I'm going to choose to add in a short 10-minute meditation practice soon but for now making my journaling and yoga practice daily - allowing it to become daily - allowing that time for me, to say that time for me daily is precious, is a PRIORITY ...

I'm still learning to make that my reality.

What are - or will be - your chosen habits?

The ones that make you YOU, the you you choose to be?