It's not all or nothing - you can do SOMETHING!

It's not all or nothing ...

I know, I know, right? I talk about this all the time in my diet group ... and yet ...

Sometimes you find yourself with words and thoughts that are still coming from that way of thinking.

So in Paris, last week, we were staying in an apartment on the top floor, four floors up.

And we were at the foot of the Sacre Coeur, climbing up and down those iconic steps with those lamposts many, many times a day.

Here's the screenshot of my steps/flights climbed app on my phone - yes, my usual number of flights climbed daily is around 3 or 4, going up to 10 on occasion.

In Paris, I did 48 and then 37.

Not deliberately - because that's just how it was.

And I was talking to my travel companion, my beautiful and clever niece, about how maybe when I got back I should try going up the 8 flights of stairs to my office ... (and UGH, I've tried it a couple of times and UGH).

She suggested I walk up four flights then get the lift the next floor ... and build it up.

I don't know why I haven't ever considered this before - but I hadn't.

I started doing it when I got back and it's perfect ....

What can you do to make things easier? Start them slower? Make it more sustainable, something to build on?

This was a great lesson for me ... and I'm now thinking where else I can apply it ... 

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What do you want your life to be?

So, a few years ago, four years ago, was when I finally 'woke up'.

In some ways, when I was born, or became an adult ... took responsibility.

It feels now looking back to my whole adult life before, that I'd been living in the dark.

I was in quite a dark place emotionally too - in a really awful bullying job, but then something happened in that job that made me suddenly realise I didn't have to do it. I DID have a choice.

And that was the beginning.

I realised that in the WHOLE time before then, I had never once realised that it was my choice. And now I mean my life.

I never once decided consciously what I wanted my life to be, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to make it.

I chose from the choices I could see - this holiday or that, this job opportunity or that one, even relationships.

My eyes opened and since then I've been consciously experimenting and exploring and discovering what I CHOOSE and what I WANT and make my life to be.

It started with baby steps. Well, I say that but it's was actually a pretty big step deciding that I didn't want a stressful job, and I wanted something that gave me time to pursue finding out what I DID like to do and want to do.

And as these things tend to, once I knew that's what I was going to choose, I found a job which at that time was a ten minute walk from my house (unheard of in London! We've since moved office but that's ok - at the time it was exactly what I needed).

I started blogging about Thai cooking and sharing some recipes.

Doing something CREATIVE at last. For ME.

And my whole life started to change, to become somehow CLEAR and I started to feel my way into how it felt to realise that I could make things happen if I just CHOSE.

So, it took into my 40's to realise it - that I'd been stuck, not thinking, just letting things happen, drifting really and letting other people - particularly work - dictate my life. And happiness.

It's NEVER too late to start to choose and create the life you want. Consciously choose.

You can be anything you want.

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It's not exactly 'right' ... but it's not a mistake either

Hahaha!

These photos ...  are of my first attempt at mini choc-ices.

And I could say the recipe experiment wasn't a success ... but it was.

You can't be good at anything without trial and error and trying and making 'mistakes' and learning and refining.

The MOST important lesson in the world I think is to just start.

Give it a go. START. Just have a go.

No, you won't be brilliant at anything new straight away but you can't get from A-Z without going through the other letters first.

So, my first go at mini choc ices.  I made lime ice cream and melted chilli chocolate. And I knew it wasn't working right and I can see so clearly now - from having had a go - what I'll do differently next time and can see how it'll work.

Like many things - I over-complicated it a bit. No need for the ice cube tray palaver - freezing the ice cream in a thinner layer on a baking tray is going to be a better idea next time.

And I'm very confident in these being good the next time I make them!

And sometimes ... you learn that what you're trying to force into being just doesn't work.

I've now tried four or five times to make a Thai-style version of arrancini ... and I haven't made it work yet.

I've tried red curry ones, fried rice ones, holy basil and chilli ones.

Dipped them in egg, in flour, cooked with egg, covered in breadcrumbs.  

I do suspect arrancini work because of risotto rice and mozzarella ... But I might keep trying as I can see them so clearly in my head! Maybe sticky rice is the answer?

Ok, scrap that 'learning some things don't work'.

Never give up ... do the work until it works ...

These are not 'mistakes'; they're just part of the discovery + learning + creating.

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