Play, experiment, find your passion (mine's Thai cooking)

Today is all about playing and experimenting ... I just made this ... 

It's a Thai red curry with chicken - and peppers ('cos that's what was in the fridge) - with added chilli, garlic and kaffir lime leaves (is there a better smell than crushed kaffir lime leaves?).

The experimentation came in the sauce - this is made with almond milk rather than coconut milk - as I'm playing with ideas and substitutes whilst creating The Tiniest Thai diet.

Firstly, it was delicious! It works! I'll be sharing a recipe soon.

Secondly ... this playing and having fun with my passion for cooking and Thai cooking and creating my diet and eating plan ... well, that's the MOST important thing.

Just a few short years ago, I didn't even know what my passion was, what I loved doing. It seems incredible now, but the days just went by, me getting through them, thinking that's just how it was.

Work, hard work, a bit of TV, a bit of reading, a bit of chatting to friends, some going to the pub or for dinner. But it seems somehow surreal now looking back EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS MY LIFE FOR SO LONG ... what did I talk about? think about?

WHY didn't I have specific goals and passions?

WHY was I drifting through my life - not entirely happy - instead of actively creating it?

I'm glad, beyond glad, that I 'woke up'. And the point at which I woke up was horrible yes. An awful job with the most insane stressful horrible culture.

I'm glad I was there. I'm glad it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm glad I had been in a pretty difficult and dark place anyway and then went that extra step to rock bottom ... because for me, I didn't break down.

I finally stood up.

I came to that point where I finally said NO. This is NOT happening. I WILL NOT let this continue.

And right there and then, without a job to go to, I found my self esteem, self worth, self love - I think for the first time ever with such certainly - and stood up and said NO. I gave in my notice.

I didn't know what I was going to do - only that I was going to find out what I wanted to do.

That was the beginning of consciously creating my life. Finding time, making time, for the things that really matter to me. Making it happen. Prioritising it.

And three years later, it's why I'm here playing with and experimenting with recipes.

Because that's what I want to do and love to do.

(I'm actually pretty excited about how good the almond milk substitute for coconut milk turned out).

If you're drifting through, rather than actively deciding on your life, I can only say ... DON'T.

Find what you love. Experiment until you find it.

I'm as passionate now about sharing how important it is to FIND your passion as I am about kaffir lime leaves ...

So, what's your passion?

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Portion sizes / Choose consciously / Keep going (Week 4 of 12 on The Tiniest Thai diet)

A third of the way into my 12 weeks - and three main takeouts (not the curry or Chinese kind!) this week:

1. Portion sizes

I'm greedy. Or rather, I was greedy. And I hate waste (especially food waste) so I'll tend to eat pretty much what's there. 

Best example is probably rice.  As it's non-wheat and it's gluten-free, I tend to think of rice as just 'healthy'. Which it is of course, but ... I was eating way too much of it.  For me, it's a little like pasta, where you just don't trust that the measured amount is going to be enough so you throw in more (and it's too much but you just eat it all). 

So I've been measuring what looks like a TINY portion of uncooked rice at around 20g ... but cooked it gives me my own decided portion size of two tablespoons (and a little leftover that I throw away or keep for another time). 

And ... it's ENOUGH. Learning ENOUGH has been brilliant for me.

(This sounds really bad to admit, but I will admit that, since measuring and following my Thai-style diet, I've actually noticed how much I'm saving on shopping and how much longer things are lasting).

2. Choosing consciously.

Oh this is a big one.  I've been working on it and it's finally sort of clicking into gear for me.

Ok, so the other morning, I was off on the train to a client meeting early and wandering around looking for something for breakfast ... I really wanted a bacon sandwich.  But, I spent five minutes thinking it through.  

And my reasoning was, 'yes, of course have one ... IF you're really going to enjoy it'.  

And, honestly, I couldn't say that would be true.  It would be a bit of a rubbish one from a train station outlet and I'd eat it quickly whilst standing and ... I knew that - today at least - I'd regret having it. 

Another day, when I'm going to love and enjoy it, sure! But today, I went and got a black coffee and a 'protein pot' from M&S and some mango too. And felt good.

3. Keep going.

In the past, I know I've done this.  So there's a dinner out with friends, or a family lunch, or a client do ... or something ... and you have incredible, delicious choices in front of you. 

You can do what I used to do - and what I suspect a lot of us do - and just throw total caution to the winds!

'Well, what can I do? I might as well have everything that's here!' And not just that, but afterwards, 'oh well, I've 'ruined' today now - might as well keep eating!'.

But .... it's life.  And it's also good food and a great time having a social happy time.

I'm proud of myself that I'm learning to do two things - firstly, choose kind of wisely. I say kind of because no, I can't resist chips. But I can resist dessert, and I can choose food that's going to nurture me as well as delight my taste buds. 

And secondly, so what? It was good, it was fun, it's life. But get straight back on with choosing consciously what's good for your body and - if you're trying to lose weight - what's going to help achieve that. Straight away, that same day/evening - just make a good choice. 

Enjoy what you've had (mindful conscious choosing - and then get right back on with choosing what's going to get results).

Some favourites from Week 4

Iced coffee made with almond milk

So good.  Make an espresso or small, strong coffee.  Tip into the blender along with a handful of ice cubes, a teaspoon of vanilla extract, a mug of almond milk and blend. One of my favourites!

On-the-go breakfast / brunch / lunch

These 'protein pots' from M&S are delicious - and surprisingly filling.  My favourite is this salmon one with edamame and a wasabi dressing.

Omelettes

Two eggs, beaten in a bowl for each omelette.  One an Arabic omelette with herbs and one a Thai omelette with a little soy sauce, cooked chicken and served with fish sauce and sliced chillies.

A super-simple-supper of steamed fish

Steamed in a parcel or cooked in a remoska with chillies, garlic, lime juice a little sugar and spring onions.  Delicious.

Here's the recipe.

Simple squid or chicken stir fry

Again, very simple and utterly delish!

I love to keep a packet of frozen squid (and other seafood actually) in the freezer and it defrosts so fast and you can make all sorts of good things. 

I'll be back to share Week 5 soon!

PS. I lost 1 lb this week. That's fine. I also ate well, and ate out a couple of times. Sometimes it'll be faster and sometimes slower - and I was all about a gentle mindset this week and not pushing myself.

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4 Pounds Lost + Doubt Overcome: The Tiniest Thai Weight-loss Diet Week 3 of 12

Week 3 (of a planned 12) was a harder one than the previous two have been. Harder than I was expecting - at the start anyway.

Doubt crept in.

It tested me a bit but then ... my big takeaway (not a curry one either - ha!) from this week was to ... JUST KEEP GOING 

When you're not seeing results, when you start wondering what the point is, when you feel like 'giving up' (although going back to how you were eating before was clearly not the best for your health). 

I'm learning to focus on the outcome I want, the result I want and - even when it feels like it's not happening - to TRUST and BELIEVE and to KEEP GOING.

So, I started the week having put on a pound.

And I knew that was going to happen at some point, as I'm weighing daily, and I KNOW it's just a number, just a fact and that my tracking that is helping me but still ... I did feel disappointed.

And then ...

BEING GIVEN SANDWICHES FOR LUNCH

It wasn't helped by the fact I had a lunch meeting the next day with sandwiches provided - and I'm not eating sandwiches on my Thai-style diet. 

But what can you do?

LIFE is still going to be there and throwing things at you - so what I've decided to do is NOT do what I've done previously, and just think 'oh well, if I can't do it then! I might as well have ALL the sandwiches, AND the cakes while I'm at it!'.

I'm just trying to do what I can, the best I can, and not give myself a hard time about it.

So I had three little quarter sandwiches and chose chicken and salad (the mayo was out of my control) rather than cheese or ham. And I said no to the pastries and the sausage rolls. I did have a handful of crisps (because crisps are my total downfall and because I love them) but I said no to the cake and ate grapes instead. I did ok.

I can't beat myself up about this - this is a huge one for me to learn a middle ground rather than being so all or nothing.

And then - on Thursday, I weighed myself first thing and ... I was 2 pounds lighter! 

YES!

 So, so happy. Feel vindicated that what's important is to keep going, just keep going and make conscious choices whenever you can.

DINNER PARTY FOOD

And on Friday I had friends for dinner, to my monthly Tiniest Thai Salon where we talked about creativity and poetry and all sorts of good things. I was worrying about what to cook (well, what I would eat really) but then made a menu that no-one would even know was 'diet' food.

We had a tom yum goong hot sour soup with prawns to start. Tom yum probably USES more calories to eat it than it contains!

Just don't even worry about this one - it's a goodie.

Then a Thai-style roast chicken served with rice (I had only a spoon or two of this) and a Thai-inspired salad (which doesn't have any oil at all in the dressing - and I skimped on the sugar that my own recipe includes).

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I also put out a home-made sweet chilli sauce (which looks impressive but is super-easy) as it goes perfectly with the chicken - but I was careful to only have a teaspoon myself.

But you know what? That teaspoon was actually the perfect amount now I'm being mindful and not sloshing it in without thinking.

For dessert I made a fruit salad with mango, melon, kiwi and apple - served with a sugar/salt/chilli dip

MY FAVOURITE THINGS TO EAT THIS WEEK

Breakfasts ...

Usually fruit and/or eggs. 

Papaya with squeezed fresh lime is so delicious - and two hard boiled eggs with some salt and pepper or a drop of soy sauce are packed with protein and keep me full until lunch.

Lunchtime ...

I made a really easy salad at lunch at work by taking in some chicken I'd cooked at home on the griddle the night before - with salt and pepper and ground cumin plus just ONE teaspoon of oil.

I mixed the diced cooked chicken with cucumber and spring onions and a little sliced red chilli and lots of lime juice - then spooned this mixture into little gem lettuce leaves.

It makes such a difference to me spending a little time making my food look really appetising!

 Sunshine coloured fruit for pud - mango and melon.

Dinnertime ...

This was a good dinner. And the preparation time is really quick - I soaked a few dried porcini mushrooms in water whilst pottering around getting the other ingredients together - they probably soaked for 10-15 minutes. 

Then I just put fillets of sea bass in the remoska (I absolutely LOVE my little remoska oven - it does the best roast chicken - but you could make foil parcels and put them in a conventional oven to steam and bake inside the foil) and added:

- the porcini mushrooms, taken from the water (keep the water!) and sliced (removing any tough stalks)

- 3 tablespoons light soy sauce mixed with the mushroom water and 1 teaspoon sugar

- 1 rasher of bacon, diced

- 2 spring onions, sliced

Cook for about 20 minutes or until done.  I served it with a little rice (2 tablespoons of cooked rice is my own diet portion) and some stir fried green vegetables with chilli, garlic and a little soy sauce.

And this was a good dinner too. 

I had sausages in the freezer and I hate waste so diet or no diet I was going to use them!

So I made a little cut in the sausage and squeezed the meat out of the casing. Two per person.

I mixed the meat with a splash of soy sauce, a little garam masala and some flour and rolled them into little meatball shapes.

I browned them in the pan (using the spray oil) then added diced celery and garlic and stock.  When cooked I added a splash of red wine vinegar and a good pinch of dried chilli flakes and we had them with rice noodles (and a veg stir fry as I had some vegetables that needed using!).

Yes, it was a harder week at the start but I kept going - and started seeing results!

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All the blog posts ... (that I didn't write)

You know how it is.  Ideas just come. All the time, but sometimes insistently. Like it wants YOU to do something with it.

And when an idea grabs me and asks to be written - sometimes although love the idea I don't have time or inclination, or it's not possible right then.  Sometimes I walk round the park with the dog whilst saying the whole post out loud just exactly as it in that moment comes into my head.

And sometimes I get home and write it.

And other times I write down a quick heading in my draft blogs to remind me what it was and so I can go back to it later.

I've just checked and there's over 20 headings in that draft folder including .... this very one ... 

And actually, for me - and for most of us, I believe, it's quite unusual to come back to an idea.

So often we have an idea, leave it for later and life and stuff gets in the way and we don't do it.

When we come back to it - MUCH later - the moment's passed and the inspiration's gone.  Yes, the idea's still good, but that free-flowing oh-I-can-hardly-type-fast-enough-to-get-my-thoughts-out has kind of gone.

When I read Big Magic (and saw Liz GIlbert speak on her Big Magic speaking tour last November), this was one of my favourite ideas - that ideas themselves are sort of alive and flying around looking for someone to bring them to life.  

And they settle on you, and you're all, 'YEAH this is a FAB idea', ... but if you don't do it, don't write it or sing it or whatever it is you wanted to do with it ... then the idea's going to fly off and find someone else as its vehicle for expression.

I really liked this! It gave an explanation to what happens to me all the time.

Personally, I have lots and lots of ideas every single day.  And the reason my tally of unwritten blogs hasn't actually increased since I first had the idea to write about it is because I now know I'm not going to 'run out' of ideas.

Ideas come every day. Some I'll jump on and I just can't NOT write them.  

Others I love but ... honestly, I know I'm not going to do.

And now, instead of writing them down as draft blog headings - and adding sub-consciously to that never-done 'to do' list - I let them go. (So much more freeing for us both).

They might come back. Our timings might coincide and collide again. 

But I don't try and keep them as 'mine', mine to come back to another time.  Usually both my energy and the idea itself are feeling stale and like a chore by then.

I let them go. 

I have no concerns at all that I won't have a million more live ideas tomorrow, and the next day.

And sometimes, well, infrequently, but like right now ... this idea came back to me and said, very loudly, 'GET OFF THE SOFA, PUT YOUR GLASS OF WINE ON THE TABLE, GET THE LAPTOP OUT, AND WRITE ME. NOW'.

And so I did.

And here this idea is - wanting to be seen and heard. 

Use them, lose them, let them go. They need to be heard but not always through you.

And you, you will ALWAYS have more ideas.

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PS. Every time I thought, 'All the blog posts', I sing it in my head to Kylie's 'All the Lovers'.

And I love that song, so hey :) 

PPS. That happens to me a LOT. Like, when I'm on a bus and it goes round Marble Arch and I think, 'Rach, just ONCE, just once DON'T think 'Cumberland Sausage Gate' and THEN I see the road sign and it says 'Cumberland Gate' - and too late; I've already thought NOT to think about it again ... 

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2 lbs lost / 4 things learnt: Tiniest Thai weight-loss diet wk 2 of 12

Wow, what a difference a week makes!

This Monday morning was almost tears of happiness - and feeling just pretty euphoric actually.

Not just that the number on the scales is going down, but that I'm feeling in control and that feeling of having taken action on something. 

This week I lost 2 lbs.

And I learnt 4 main things:

 1. Accountability is HUGE!

I mentioned this last week, but it's so true.  Because I've announced and told everyone I want to lose weight AND because I'm blogging my results, it's definitely given me a bit more resolve than I might have otherwise had.  

2. The small things matter.

I've made a few small changes that are making a big difference.  

* No milk in my coffee or tea - I'm having a couple of black coffees a day (with a teaspoon of sugar in each) and maybe one green tea with mint. But no milk.

* No peanuts!

Peanuts are delish of course, and very very more-ish and I can't stop picking at them if there's a packet in the cupboard. But they're incredibly full of fat and not good, nut-fat, healthy-heart-fat either, being a vegetable not a nut.

So for that crunch in my salads and stir fries, I'm toasting a few flaked almonds instead.

* I'm also using an oil spray for cooking rather than sloshing the oil in without thinking. I have to turn the garlic and chillies quickly and often before even 30 seconds is up I have to add a little slosh of water, but this seemingly tiny change is having a big impact.

3. I feel a little lighter and that makes exercise seem easier.  

I'm feeling really motivated about measuring my steps daily and aiming for 12k.  

To be honest I often struggle to reach 10k, which I know is what we're all supposed to achieve daily for just good health rather than weight loss, but it's the difference in my mindset I'm proud of - and I'm really interested in and looking for ways to naturally increase my steps.

4. Decluttering.

Woo-hoo! Didn't expect this! I love a bit of decluttering and the drive kicked in this week - firstly, to declutter my food cupboards and get those out of date herbs out of there and the ancient baking bits and pieces I've never ever used.  Time to clear that stale energy from the kitchen!

And having done that ... well, I moved on to my bathroom cupboard and wardrobe ... I can't WAIT 'til I can declutter all my 'fat' clothes and be building up a gorgeous capsule wardrobe of happy weight clothes.

This week's favourite recipes:

Lunches ...

* 2 poppadums cooked in the microwave at work (literally seconds) or brought in ready cooked.  

Topped with a little cottage cheese, a little mango chutney, chopped cucumber, spring onion, red chilli and coriander leaves.

* a great green salad with mixed salad leaves and avocado + a dressing of lime juice.

Spending a little time making my food look pretty also makes me appreciate and savour it more.

Dinners ...  

I'm more likely to add a little carbohydrate to dinner - some rice noodles or a couple of tablespoons of plain boiled basmati rice.

I've made a version of a seafood pad krapow stir fry (using spray oil) and had some really good salads using the salad base of this steak salad but topped with griddled chicken or seafood.

I have to confess there were some treats around this week at work too - but one of the BIG things for me is just learning not to be 'all or nothing'. 

So - yes, I did have a very small slice to taste the delicious cake that my colleague and friend (and baker extraordinaire) Jackie brought in for someone's birthday (deconstructed Snickers cake - you think I could refuse, even with my zero-sweet-tooth?!).

But I didn't have a huge slice, and that's one of the things I'm learning - I'm not trying to deprive myself here, but I am wanting to lose weight - so i'm always looking to the result, to the outcome, but in a way that's going to work for me.

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10 things making me happy right now

1. The sun's shining and that always makes this sun-worshipper a little bit lighter, brighter, happier, more energised.  Soaking up some rays feels like re-charging my batteries with goodness. 

The sun is shining and ... this song's therefore in my head.

2. I'm also feeling actually lighter through losing weight on the Tiniest Thai weight-loss diet.  Week 4 of 12 starts tomorrow, I'm 8lbs lighter and looking forward to sharing the eating plan when I've finished working through it myself.

In the meantime, here's what I learnt during Week 1.

3. Iced coffee.  I love it.  Black with one sugar, lots of ice clinking in the glass. I don't know why but it makes me feel a little bit French and a little bit chic. And I'm not going to question that, just enjoy it! 

4. Poetry.  The first Tiniest Thai Salon was held on Friday evening and it was so much fun getting to talk about favourite poems and hear other people's.  We had a lot of love for Michael Rosen as a huge formative influence for a few of us and our love of language.  He might be a children's poet - but that doesn't mean adults can't enjoy his stuff too.  

My friend Rhys had 'Keith's Cupboard' as his favourite Michael Rosen poem - it's a few poems down on this.  

Next Salon date to be announced soon - the next one we'll be chatting about creativity and how you find, channel, enjoy yours.

5. Som tam.  I LOVE som tam.  Addicted to it. Hot, crunchy, sour, refreshing - my favourite salad.  And it doesn't matter if you can't get green papaya or green mango - it's (almost) as good using courgette, carrots, and green pepper - all sliced very thin.  

Here's my version. I'm using a few toasted hazelnuts instead of peanuts (which are a vegetable and therefore not heathy good nut fats) while on my diet and having it with some griddled chicken.

6. Being outdoors.  This time of year is just so spectacularly beautiful and I'm so lucky to have a very beautiful park nearby.  I was there this morning early and just noticing the conkers appearing on the trees, the lushness of the different greens everywhere, the white flowers, the birdsong. 

Really do feel very lucky to be outdoors walking the dog and noticing the seasons changing and nature doing it's thing. 

7. I'm still really happy about having been accepted as a Huffington Post blogger! Even though I've only had one piece published so far (there's another currently with them awaiting publication) it makes me smile every time I think about it.  

8. Adventures ahead. Travel is one of the things that makes me feel most alive. If I had to choose I'd pick experiences over 'things' any day and I have so many memories of incredible experiences.

This year I've planned lots of mini-adventures so there's never too long in between them.  

The next is a few days in Spain in a few weeks and I'm already excited - especially to be going back to the exact village I went to when I was 18 (it was my first flight too!).  I'm going back with the same friend I went with that first time, so we're going to be revisiting some old memories as well as making new ones.

Can't wait.

9. Family, friends, love. Of course. Goes without saying, but then not to say it doesn't feel right either! Just had a long chat on the phone with one of my sisters and that ALWAYS makes me happy.

10. Ooh, so the last one is this.  A tom yum soup. Hadn't made it for ages but it's a great one for the Tiniest Thai diet and I'd forgotten how incredibly easy it is to make and how incredibly delicious.

Here's my recipe - do try it!

What's making you happy right now?

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The Tiniest Thai diet for weight loss: week 1 of 12

This is quite a scary one for me.  

I've known for ages that I've been putting on weight (of course) - and ... I've been putting my head in the sand about it.  Thinking that somehow it'll just stop and somehow I'll 'lose weight' and somehow just drop those pounds and be back to my happy weight.

Well, guess what? Sticking your head in the sand doesn't work ... and last weekend, after a weekend of eating huge bowls of pasta in some sort of pasta trance, I woke up on the Monday morning incredibly bloated and uncomfortable and downright unhappy.

But it seems, that was the point that enough was enough.

I did it. I got the scales out and stood on them and found I was back to the heaviest weight I have ever been.

It was soul-destroying. Crushing. I was tearful and scared that it was out of my control and full of self-loathing. 

And I also decided to do something about it. 

It's ridiculous! I KNOW about food! And about nutrition.  I talk about it and help people with it.  I KNOW what to do, which makes it even harder to understand why I'm sabotaging myself like this. 

So, I weighed myself and I decided to there and then start using my knowledge of food and nutrition and especially Thai food to develop my own weight loss diet.  

I mean, when you think of Thai people you don't exactly think of overweight people.  You think of beautiful, healthy people with clear skin and shiny hair - of sunshine, beaches, fruit and smiles.

I cook Thai food to share recipes here and for my supperclub - it's just that I haven't worked on a healthy, happy way of eating for weight loss.  But it lends itself so naturally towards that too as I've written previously.

Week 1 then.  I made it up as I went along. 

I lost 4 lbs (mainly because I started from a starting point of totally bloated from the Weekend of Pasta). 

Here's 5 key things I learnt from Week 1

1. It's all about your mindset. 

When I woke up to what was happening to my body and was upset about it, I finally admitted to myself how it was making me feel.  It was making me scared and upset. The first point is to take action. Be honest with yourself and vow to take action. 

When you're ready to do this, you're ready. No point forcing yourself if the mindset isn't there - you'll only be fighting with - and lying to - yourself.

2. Action, any action.

Yep, any action, no matter how small.  I started noting down (just on Google Keep on my phone) every single thing I ate and drank. 

And I noticed where I was guessing or cheating - for instance on top of his biscuits I always give my dog a very little roast chicken (from a pack I buy for him from the supermarket) and I realised that every single day I was eating a slice of roast chicken too.  

I was having a sugar in my morning tea, when I'm very happy to have tea without sugar. 

I was choosing a banana a day from the fruit at work rather than having an apple. 

Make every single tiny change - yes, they do matter, yes they do add up (even when you think they wont').

3. Pay attention.

I was upset with myself for having put the weight on and letting it get to this point without catching it before and earlier.  Well, this is a mindset one for me for sure - I'm great in a crisis, in fact I LOVE a crisis, but just sort of normal life discipline, less good.  It's going to be one for me to work on when I'm back to my happy weight to make sure it doesn't go on again. 

I know all the general diet advice is not to weigh yourself every day but to do it once a week but hey, this is MY diet plan and having seen what happens when I DON'T pay frequent attention, then right now for a few weeks I am going to micro-manage the hell out of this. 

I am weighing myself every single morning and making a note of it. And yes I know that some days I might go up a pound and I KNOW that I'm really only measuring once a week BUT the discipline of every day is working for me.

I'm also keeping a note of everything I eat and drink.  You know, it's just a fact, you're recording facts, this stuff doesn't come with any intrinsic WORTH attached to it. 

What's the phrase?  'Where attention goes, energy flows'.

And I WANT that attention and energy on my weight and my food and my diet right now.

4. Don't hide from the emotions.

I admit it, I felt horrible that first day. Honestly, sick of myself, full of self-loathing and disbelief that I could be so stupid. Why I seemingly had no will power.  Why I was doing this to myself.

Ok, don't hide from the emotions - and of course the emotions around our self-image and weight can be intense.  Feel them, yes, but then we have to find a way to release them.

It's not good, it's not kind to talk to yourself like that - I know I wouldn't speak to a friend feeling the same like this.

So let it go however that works for you.  You could journal about it. Meditate on it.

I also use EFT - emotional freedom technique - 'tapping'.  I tapped a lot that first day and I've been tapping on these feelings ever since.  It's another odd one, because I tap frequently, but I've never done it on my feelings about my weight before.

(At the end of the 12 weeks developing this eating plan, I'll be adding more information and videos to tap to, but in the meantime, just look on YouTube as there are lots of fab EFT people with videos there).

5. Measure it out

I don't mean weigh everything, I just mean be mindful.  

I used to slosh oil in the pan to stir fry in a very cavalier way - somehow thinking it wouldn't make a difference.  In fact it made about 200 calories every meal a difference.  I'd eat a huge portion of rice without thinking, but cutting it down to a smaller one - well, I am more than as satisfied, in fact more so as I'm comfortably fed rather than uncomfortably full.

Try having a little less. 

I've been having half a chicken breast for instance rather than a whole one, and again, like the rice portion, it's fine.  More than fine. It's enough.  

And 'enough' is that elusive amount that when shovelling quantities of food in mindlessly, you don't hear the whisper of 'enough'. 

Here's some of my favourite things I made this week

Well, I made a really good kao tom (rice soup) for brunch - it will also make an excellent lunch or dinner.  I made sure I used just a tablespoon of cooked rice and a very small piece of chicken (perhaps 1/3 of a breast).  And I measured out 1/2 teaspoon sugar and 1/2 teaspoon chilli flakes at the end for the flavour.

Sticking with eggs, I've also been boiling eggs in the evening to take two hard boiled eggs with me in the morning for breakfast when I get to work.  They're really good with some salt and pepper or a little soy sauce (or a teaspoon of sweet chilli sauce) and really keep you filled up until lunch.

And my favourite steak salad.  I've had it with griddled chicken too which was very good.

Oh and snacks-wise? 

I've been making an effort to have interesting fruit in the house! And I take the time to peel the kiwi fruit, slice the fresh pineapple, core and chop the apple ... and have them with a very little of a delicious sugar/salt/chilli dip.

There's something about taking the time to prepare the food and enjoy it that's just luxurious, and it sends a great big message to your subconscious that you are WORTH this gorgeous fruit and to have it beautifully prepared for you to enjoy.

I know there'll be ups and downs along the way over the next 12 weeks, but I'm feeling really happy to have started - and actually enjoying it too!

When I've finished the 12 weeks, I'll be creating The Tiniest Thai diet as a 12-week programme to share.

UPDATE: 1 JAN 2017. I'm now on Week 37!! I've lost 40 pounds and am feeling like ME again - and happy in my skin.

And The Tiniest Thai diet IS now an 8-week programme - here's all the info if you'd like to join the Thai Diet Revolution!

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5 reasons to eat Thai-style for weight loss

A belated Happy New Year - well, a belated Happy Songkram!

Songkram is Thai New Year, which is on 13 April each year, but has the celebrations continuing on 14 and 15 April too, with the famous water festival as well as naturally a time to reflect on transformation and change.

It’s made me think about my own new year’s resolutions made back in January — or intentions perhaps rather than resolutions, which just sounds a bit more positive and like things I actually want to achieve and do or become.

Mine included wanting to feel lighter and more energised and yes, to lose some weight. And with Songkram, inspiration (finally) struck.

I write about, develop and share recipes for Thai food. After years ago spending a lot of time n Thailand, including a time living there, I love the food and cook (and eat) it most of the time.

It’s happy, healthy food.

I also cook and host my monthly supperclub, The Tiniest Thai in London, held in my flat — so I’m always thinking about food and menus, and there’s always something in development, something I’m cooking or something I’m cooking to blog about and share.

It’s good food, healthy food, but I do eat a bit too much of it and it’s starting to show.

Inspiration struck — and... of course!

Why I haven’t thought of this before I don’t know.

A Thai diet is a perfect way of eating for those of us looking to drop a few pounds.

Yes, I’ll cut down on some of the recipe development a little and be a bit more mindful about the amount of oil I use to stir-fry and, in fact, cut down on stir fries.

There’s 5 very good reasons why eating Thai-style is going to help my new focus on healthy weight-loss - without weighing food, counting calories or cutting out food groups.

I’m starting today ... and I’ll be reporting back ...

Here’s my 5 areas of focus

1. A lot of Thai food is so flavourful that you don’t need to eat as much to feel satisfied and also, and importantly, it’s not dependent on fats for the flavour.

With lime juice and fish sauce and chillies, the food is vibrant and tasty without the need for oil I’m going to be trying lots of hot and hour salads, and steamed fish with tons of flavour, served with rice.

2. Ah, rice.

Rice is the staple of Thai cooking. Even the words for eating, for having a meal, ‘gin kao’ means literally ‘eat rice’. Rice is more easily digestible than wheat carbohydrates such as bread and pasta, and suitable for those on a gluten-free diet. Cooked rice has a lot of water in it too, which fills you up. The only thing is to be a little bit careful with portion sizes — it’s easy (well, I find it so) to eat too much rice when you only need a handful (your handful, yes!).

3. Snacks! There is food everywhere in Thailand, in shops and restaurants, street cafes and stalls and food sellers walking past you all time time with sliced fruits and hard boiled eggs. This has made me realise just how easy it is in that environment to snack healthily — when there’s so much choice of beautiful fruits ready prepared particularly.

I’m going to be making sure I’ve got interesting fruit and salad vegetables prepared to snack on during the day — oh and hard boiled eggs too — perfect with a little salt and pepper or dipped in a little soy sauce (at around 85 calories per egg).

4. The way of eating is to share. So, no big plate heaped with food. A bowl of rice and several smaller dishes for everyone to try — and it’s considered rude (naturally) to take a huge portion. So you’ll have a couple of spoonfuls of rice and then try a little of the other dishes.Communal eating means you also generally eat slower which gives you to time to feel full.

It’s easy to eat like this even if you’re cooking for just one or two — put the rice in a bowl and make a couple of smaller dishes, perhaps a salad and a stir fry (going easy on the oil). Anything left can be eaten at the next meal (or even for breakfast — I love that the Thai way of eating means you can eat anything for breakfast, not just ‘breakfast’ foods).

5. There’s no dairy, really. I love cheese so much that I have to be really careful about buying it — basically, if it’s in the fridge, there I am slicing off tiny piece after tiny piece until... oh it’s gone. I have no self control when it comes to cheese. I love a sprinkling of feta on things but if I’m honest, I don’t eat just the sprinkling. If I’m at home, I’d be going back to break off a piece more. No temptation on the Thai diet — because there won’t be any cheese to be tempted with!

I’ll be going back through my own archive of recipes (as I’m putting down the development of new ones for a while) and making sure I reduce the oil where possible to make some delicious Thai food for my weight loss diet.

Oh and with a little bit more mindfulness on portion sizes too.

A Thai friend once told me, “eat spicy, get small”!

I’m putting her theory to the test now.

And a very happy - and late - new year!

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So, what do you do?

I've been thinking about this a lot recently.  For a few reasons.

And there are a few things that have struck me, that I wondered then if it's just me who does this or whether more of us do.  (Or don't, really).

And that is, actually put a name to it and SAY who they are.

It's been bugging me for a couple of reasons.  

Firstly, a while ago, well two years ago when I started blogging actually, I also started becoming very aware of the language used when you meet new people.  Small talk convention means that pretty soon in any conversation with someone new you'll be asked ... 

'So, what do you do?'

And I think most of us, also out of convention, then talk about 'what we do to make money/make a living'. 

I suppose the question could be posed differently, but even as it stands ... WHAT DO YOU DO?

Many, many people have things they DO outside their work that they love, that's their passion, that's actually what they work in their paying job to DO.

But no one (well, hardly anyone) answers the question with, 'Oh I'm a circus performer, a trapeze artist' ... and then, 'oh, you mean what I do for a living? I'm a marketing manager for a beauty company - and currently it allows me to follow my passion, the trapeze'.

I was thinking about it two years ago when I started my blog and recently I've become really interested again in the language I used and use.

Two years ago, I changed my public 'profile'  description (on social media) and I added my hobbies/passions/projects to that description.

So I'd say things like:

'Magazine publisher by day; foodie and supperclub founder by night'

And honestly, even that felt a little bit ... well, brave ... for me, to start talking about the things I love doing for me, after being so confined by 'what I did to make money'.

Of course, once you start challenging your beliefs and thoughts, you keep on doing so.  

I started thinking more about whether, when asked in a social situation, 'what do you do?', whether I could turn it round and answer FIRST with what I love to do and THEN with what I do to make a living.

(I do have to note here that unlike many people in 'jobs' that pay the rent or mortgage, I have a career that I love and enjoy and am proud of what I create and make happen there.  So this isn't about someone hating their job and wanting to be defined as something else. I've been - and am - more than happy to say I'm a magazine publisher and I can (as many know) talk about it 'til the proverbial cows come home). 

But it's no longer, 'what I do'. 

And I see now that progression when I look back again at those social profiles.

OK, I moved on a bit - calling myself a 'foodie' and a 'blogger'.  

But actually, aren't they a little bit ... nothing?

There's no passion there!

Recently, I decided to drop the 'day job' info completely. For now - as I said, it's still something I love and am proud of.  

But I need to stand up and say who I am.

And why, why, why ... has that been so hard and taken so long?

As of last weekend, I updated my profiles to say that I'm a ... 

'Writer, cook, creator of the Tiniest Thai supperclub and eating plan'

AND ... WHY WAS THAT SO HARD?

To be honest, I've further to go on this - in naming who I am/what I do, owning it, NAMING it and sharing it.

But I'm sharing now as this has felt important to me - announcing (not without fear, of course still with fear that somehow I'm bluffing), but announcing who I am and what I do.

And next time at a party and someone asks what I do, I'm really practising not defaulting to my (interesting and sounds great) 'magazine publisher' job.  

I'm practicing saying what it is I DO. That I spend every spare moment doing. That I do with or without payment.  

It tells more about who I am and what I love.

I am (right now) a writer, a cook and a host/salonniere of my Tiniest Thai supperclub and salon.

And If I can do it politely and in a way that opens up interesting conversation, I'm going to be challenging others to talk about their passions when they answer that question ... 

'So, what do you do?'

... with details about what they spend their days doing to pay the mortgage.  

And hopefully, lots will love their careers.

And others will start talking with passion about their passions.

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

WHO ARE YOU?

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17 reasons to eat a Thai-style diet

1. A Thai diet is rice-based rather than wheat-based, so is naturally good for gluten-free diets (you'll need to use gluten-free soy sauce and stock cubes though) and those looking to cut down on eating wheat. 

2. Chillies make you happy ... your body reacts to the spiciness by releasing natural endorphins that just feel good. 

3. You can eat what you want for breakfast! No more having to stick to so-called 'breakfast foods'. Have rice, have soup, have stir-fry, have fruit - whatever you like.

4. It's super-quick to cook - most dishes just minutes to make.  Yes, you need to prepare the ingredients, but it's still pretty fast.

5. It cures hangovers! Try a super spicy pad krapow stir fry the morning after. Honestly, trust me, try it. Put a fried egg on top for extra protein if it's really bad.

6. It's a way of eating that ensures you get most nutritional value from your food - stir frying at a high temperature keeps the goodness in.

7. A Thai-style way of eating means delicious snacking too: a hard boiled egg dipped in soy sauce: some slices of pineapple with a salt, sugar and dried chilli-flake mix; sour green mango (or green apple) with chillies and fish sauce; chicken stir fried with garlic on little gem lettuce leaves.

8. These are salads you'll really want to eat :) No to limp lettuce and soggy tomato and yes to hot, sour, spicy salads with a kick - these meals in themselves are super tasty AND very rarely use oil or fats, just lime, fish sauce, sugar and chillies.

9. No specialist ingredients needed - if you can get hold of chillies, limes, sugar, soy sauce, fish sauce and rice you'll be able to cook a huge variety of dishes.

* You can download my 9 Tiniest Thai storecupboard essentials here (if you don't have it already!).  It's a helpful little free ebook :) 

10. It boosts your metabolism - yup, those spicy, salty flavours - your body loves them and it moves a bit quicker for them.  (Yeah, ok, I'm no twig, but then think of ALL THE RECIPE TESTING I have to do heehee).

11. So many ingredients in Thai cooking have amazing health properties - get them without even thinking when you're regularly eating chillies, garlic, ginger, lemongrass and more.

12. It's incredibly tasty! Thai cooking is all about balancing the four key flavours of salty (fish sauce), sour (limes), sweet (sugar) and spicy (chillies). It has BIG flavours.

13. It's easy to eat your five a day (or more) when you're eating predominantly fresh foods.

14. Chillies kill off colds. They kill off pathogens (ie viruses) - just eat a little more Thai-style and you'll be getting a dose. Try this stir-fried pork with chilli and garlic.

15.  There are a couple of Thai dishes that I think are the ultimate comfort foods ... the softness of the rice, the sunshine of the flavours, the warm hug of it.  Need comfort food? Try pad Thai or a fried rice (kao pad). 

16. Under the weather with a cold or tummy pain or just feeling down? A kao tom - rice soup -will sort you out.

17. Thai food is happy and healthy food.  It's fresh, fast, full of flavour and makes you happy.

Try moving to a Thai-style way of eating for health and happiness.

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Unexpected presents / books + friends

Such a lovely thing happened to me this week that I have to share.

A friend sent me a present, unexpectedly, in the post.  And it was a book that she had thought I'd enjoy.

Where do I start with what a lovely thing this was to receive?

Her thoughtfulness in thinking that I'd like this book.  The lovely surprise of getting a gift in the post. The beautiful note that came with it. The fact that I then spent two evenings thoroughly enjoying and savouring this little book. 

The book, by the way, was perfect for me - I love the design and it's in short pieces and chapters and thoughts, yes, perfect for someone (like me) with a very short attention span. I'm going to re-read it immediately as this time I want to take notes and take action on some of the ideas.

So, two recommendations ... 

1. This book.  I really enjoyed it - thought provoking and beautiful.  It's called 'The Crossroads of Should and Must - find and follow your passion' by Elle Luna.

2. My second recommendation is to send a friend a book - it could even be your copy that you've read and want to pass on to them. I'm definitely going to be doing this.

It was a such a very lovely surprise to receive.  It's made me smile all week.

Thank you to my thoughtful friend Ruth for the book, and inspiring this post.

And yes, this is also a post about friendship and support.  

One of the passages in the book really struck me when I read it yesterday - it's about the ripple effect - how by following your dreams you can inspire others too.

“Have you ever ... stood at the base of a redwood tree?

... These trees reach unfathomable heights, strong and beautiful, lifting skyward. But what you cannot see when you stand at the foot of this tree is what is happening underneath.

While a redwood tree can grow 360 feet tall, the roots are only, on average, about ten feet deep. This is because they spread their roots outward, searching for other redwood trees. Their roots intertwine under the ground, and they hold each other up.

A redwood tree cannot stand on its own, and neither can we. The source of Must connects us all.”

— Elle Luna (The Crossroads of Should and Must)

So send a book in the post to a friend. Be a redwood tree.

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What does your heart actually want to do?

No, really.  I'm really asking.  

What does your HEART want to do?

What does it want you to do?

Because personally - I didn't know for a long time.  More than that, I didn't even think about it, didn't even ask the question, didn't even think it was a relevant question if I HAD asked the question.

I had responsibilities, of course. Mortgage and credit cards to pay.  I had a social life.  I had holidays. I had things I wanted to do, TV to watch, people to see.

Oh and I had - at the stage I'm about to talk about - a job that wasn't right for me.  For me, a bad job. In a good industry thought that I've always worked in and loved - but that finally, finally, got to a point in a job that was just not right for me, where the job was all-consuming. 

I had never, really, never really in my whole adult life stopped to ask myself what I actually WANTED to do, what I wanted from my life. Never thought to think that my life was something I could create. I went along with things. I chose from a multiple choice selection as if that were all I was presented with.  

So you can do x, y or z.  

Do you want to go here, there or this other place? Are you going to buy this, go on holiday there, see those friends, watch what on TV? 

And then, are you going to work late again? And slowly, despite being over 40 by now, and also not really in a financial position - so I thought - to have many choices ... I realised a few things.  

Finally.

I DID have a choice.

I COULD take control of creating a life I wanted.

I might as well start with asking myself what I wanted from my life.

And then make it happen. And, crucially, make it happen in small steps.

So for me - I gave in my notice at work.  

I had suddenly woken up - is how it felt.  Things getting so bad that I finally woke up?

Well, I'll be forever happy they got that bad and I didn't continue sort of sleep walking through my life.

I didn't run away and join a circus.  Or travel the world.  I used to regularly throw my world upside down when I was younger, start again, do reckless things - I see now that it was because I had no idea what I wanted - and I wasn't asking myself the right questions.

I see that constantly coping with crisis was me avoiding the question I never thought to ask myself.

This time, I tried to look after myself - look after and nourish myself. I mean look after this little new bud of a me, of my heart, that was slowing peeking out the earth.  I didn't want to scare it or have it trampled or die in the frost - I wanted to nurture it.

I found a job where I didn't feel terror sometimes on having to go in. Or where my blood pressure soared.  Or where I would sometimes get home and shake (whilst guzzling wine before even taking my coat off).

(But where I also met so many great friends as we were all in it together - and, it seems to me now that many of us learnt the same hard, but oh so good, lesson from it).

I found a job I liked, with good people, that I could do on normal hours and normal emotions. And I tried not to be too insane at work by creating the same atmosphere myself that I had hated.

And also - in the new space that was created in my head, in my life, from not being all-consumed ... I tried something, something new and brave for me.  I tried sharing one of my passions - Thai cooking.  I started a blog. And I started learning to be creative again (a long, long time since I'd done that). 

Now - two and a half years later from when I started my new life, as me.  Starting to become me.

It's like years of living in darkness - that you didn't even know was darkness - lifted.  To do something - just because I loved it. No answering to anyone. Sharing what I loved.

It's been exciting and creative and like suddenly the world came into lightness.  

And - this is really important - it's not like I was a dark and gloomy person anyway.  It was a personal epiphany. Learning that I could create my own life and take control of it - wasn't like an escape from darkness only - as I think I might have made it sound.

It was the most exciting - and at the same time, most comforting, thing ever.

It's hard, it's hard to start being really honest - with yourself firstly.  And then it's hard sharing that too, but you have to, to let your heart open and be free.

Passions you might have had since childhood, and passions you didn't even know you had.

Deciding what's important. 

Follow your heart sounds too big. For me, I didn't even know what I wanted.

So I say - ask your heart, and then listen to it.

And then start, slowly and gently, to let it speak more.

My passion is Thai cooking and eating a healthy diet based on Thai eating principles - that's my thing.

My OTHER passion now is sharing how I came to finally realise how important having that passion, is - and in making it happen. 

It has to start somewhere, just start. Starting is all you need to do.

Have you found your passion? Or have you always had a good balance?

Interested to hear what everyone else thinks.

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Getting (every)thing done in 25 minutes

I use this technique all the time and it definitely works for me.

I heard about it a few years ago and now also know that it's also known as the pomodoro technique, although also talked about by many, many other people. (I haven't read or used the 'actual' pomodoro technique itself so can't comment on anything specific to it).

Basically, for me it means focusing on one thing, one task - for 25 minutes.

I use ticktocktimer to set my 25 minutes.  I switch off distractions (yes, you Facebook, yes you Instagram, yes you telephone ring volume!). And I just knuckle down to whatever it is that needs doing for a full 25 minutes.

And it works for me because: 

25 minutes is short enough that I can maintain a full-on sprint level energy

it's long enough to get a LOT done (when you're really focused)

it's not so long I get withdrawal from all those distractions

I don't even need more water or coffee during that time!

And, at the end, when the timer goes - I'm usually astonished how 'in the zone' I am and how much I've accomplished.

It's tempting to just re-set immediately and do it all again straight away, but it's good to then take five minutes - stretch, get a glass of water, go outside for some fresh air, do something different ... and then you can set it again for another 25 minutes if you like!

I use this in my working day when I have tasks I really need to concentrate on and am being pulled in too many directions with other (less important, often 'more urgent' tasks).  

I use it at home if I have something I really want to do (like write 'my story' page for my website - yes, yes, on my list and I'm planning on seeing if I can get it done in 25 minutes tomorrow).

It just works for me, concentrates my mind, gets things done.

Do you use this technique? Or have something else you do when you want to be really productive? 

SHARE please! :) 

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Citrus sugar body scrub

Every time I make a body scrub I wonder why I ever run out of them!  They are unbelievably easy to make and honestly, SO good to use.

Better than ones you buy, that's for sure - and they actually take less time to make than going to the shops. And of course, you know exactly what's in the products you're putting on your skin.

The one I made today is a Thai-influenced citrus-scented sugar scrub. 

For the sugar element use white granulated sugar for a softer scrub and raw/ Demerera sugar for a coarser scrub.  (Don't use brown sugar as it's basically white sugar with molasses and molasses won't be nice on your skin!).

I like quite a coarse body scrub so I'm making mine with half white and half Demerara - change the ratio as you like of course.

Please do note that this scrub is much too abrasive for use on your face or delicate decolletage and go very very easy on your tummy if you try it there.  

It's great for the upper arms, bum, thighs, knees and feet though! 

OK, let's do it. 

Find a jar - of any sort, but of course it's nice to have a Kilner or something that looks pretty in the bathroom - and yes, thoroughly wash and dry it first.

Get your ingredients together: 

Raw sugar / demerera sugar

White sugar

Coconut oil, or sweet almond oil - or even a light olive oil (NOT a vegetable cooking oil!) 

I've got my favourite fractionated coconut oil from doTerra. 

Essential oils - your choice really ...

I've used doTerra oils and combined Wild Orange, Lime and Lemongrass.  Use what you have and if you don't have any essential oils well, firstly, why not?! And secondly, some vanilla or almond extract would be lovely too if you have either of those in the cupboard.

I put equal quantities of the brown and white sugars into the jar (I used 7 dessert spoonfuls of each) and mix well (with a spoon or, um, a chopstick).

Then pour in the oil gradually and stirring so you can see the texture - you can always take a pinch out and test it on your arm to see what it feels like. I added 2 dessertspoons.

Stir until it's well combined.

Then add your essential oils - I had two drops each of Wild Orange, Lemongrass and Lime essential oils from doTerra.  I do recommend doTerra as they are very pure oils so you get the health benefits as well as the fragrance benefits, and they're not synthetic).

And stir again! That's kind of it really - although I realised that I needed a little more oil so added another spoonful and stirred.

When you want to use it, just make sure you're in the bath or shower and use on wet skin - it is too abrasive to put on dry skin. 

Take a small handful at a time and exfoliate then rinse off completely in the water.

I forgot how lovely it smells and how soft it makes your skin ... hope you like this one and do let me know if you try it and what fragrances you use.

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My winter health 'rules'

I very rarely get ill, or even get colds.  

Partly I think it's because living in London and getting tubes and buses every day means that my immune system is on super-fit ninja germ-fighting form.

Partly it's because I build those defences from the inside out, eating fresh food made from scratch so I know exactly what's in it. 

I don't do as much as I could - I really know I should prioritise exercise and sleep a little more.

But I do follow my winter health 'rules' to avoid picking up colds and infections.

Drinking lots of water.  The most important glass of water is probably the first; we are dehydrated after hours of sleeping and so a big glass of water first thing is necessary.

Eating chillies.  Good for clearing a stuffed-up nose, your body releases endorphins when you eat them, making you feel HAPPY!  Try this easy and incredibly delicious sauce/dressing - I had it yesterday on fish tacos but it will go with so many other things too! 

1/2-1 ripe (it's gotta be ripe!) mango, peeled and pieces put in a hot dry frying pan with 1 long green chilli, just cut in half longways. Fry for a few mins each side until a little charred. Then pop in a blender or food processor with juice of 1/2 a lime, a tiny splash of water and a small handful of coriander.  Blitz! 

Red wine. No explanation needed.

Getting up and outside for a quick walk first thing, fresh air and some stretching is a great way to wake up (unless it's raining of course - going out in the rain first thing in the morning isn't my idea of fun).

A drop of Frankincense essential oil under the tongue each morning (no it doesn't taste great) and a drop of On Guard blend on the soles of my feet.

On Guard is also a favourite to diffuse this time of year too. It's a blend formulated to support healthy immune function and is a blend of  wild orange essential oil, combined with clove, cinnamon, eucalyptus and rosemary.

Using uplifting essential oils such as Grapefruit, Wild Orange or Lime in a morning 'detox shower'.

Eating fresh food and spicy salads. Less meat and more fish and vegetables.

I'm going to add sleep to this list too, even though I don't always prioritise it as much as I think I should.

What are your winter health tips? Please share!

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I am a huge fan of doTerra essential oils and have been using them for about 18 months now. I use my oils daily for health and sometimes to cook with! I am also a doTerra consultant so if you're interested in finding out more about essential oils, start here ...

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A love letter to my dog on his 7th birthday

My dear tiny darling Rocco

I was going to say I love you more than you know, but I know that you do know. 

But ... almost seven years ago now, I really didn't know.

Didn't know anything.

We did that long journey back from Portsmouth and I got you home and you went into the sleeping bag I'd got you (on our friend Georgia's advice) and you looked at me as if to say, 'what is going on here?  Where am I?' and I could only look back at you thinking, 'I have no idea what I've just done, how would I know what's going on?!'

Everyone says getting a puppy changes your life and I imagine most people, like me, think 'yeah yeah, I know I know'.  But oh it does.

It changes everything. 

It took me a while to understand - but it didn't take you a while - you just loved me straight away, rubbish though I was at looking after you.

But then I got some seriously good help!

We had puppy training with Winkie Spiers (and Rocs, your face - it was like, 'at last - someone who knows what they're doing!') and then you started going to doggie daycare and things started falling into place.

(I love that you love doggie creche so much that sometimes you drag me there on a Sunday when it's closed and how every Monday morning your walk becomes a gallop the nearer we get). 

But oh - then your adolescence ...

I remember being in the park thinking, 'I just don't know if I can do this' when you were a few months old.  Started talking to a girl with her dog and she reassured me that things got easier, 'when they're about two'.  

TWO?! I didn't know if I could get through that day.

But my tiny dog, you're now seven years old.  

And I love you more every day.

Some days I just sit and watch you sleep and can't think of anything cuter or more beautiful.  

I love how you are OBSESSED with burrowing and snuggling into the comfiest places you can find.

When I let you sleep in the bed with me at night I love how you stretch out along my leg and if you want to move away you push away with your paws so your paws remain touching me.  I love how you always want to be connected to me.

And I love how you communicate so well.  

You have really tried and found a way to express yourself - even though it means some days you're just the Tiny Dictator and I run around trying to do everything you want me to do.

You have a special little deep growl which means you need me to do something for you - get a ball out from under the sofa, give you the treat I forgot was on the table that you've been eyeing up for ages, lift your dish because there's one more biscuit that somehow got underneath.

You ask for your travel bag when it's raining outside as you just don't 'do' rain.

I love how you jump to catch bubbles, and snap to catch dust motes.

I love that you put your neck down to ask me to massage it.

I love how you chatter at squirrels up trees (what you think you'd do if you caught one I don't know).

You are so much fun to play with and I love how much you stretch.  And stretch.  And then stretch some more.  And then maybe do a little stretching.

I love how much you love sunshine (as much as me!) and also find your way straight to any fireside.

I love that you love me. 

Oh and I love that you love Marmite on toast as much as I do.

I love it when you snore and I love it when you make whiffling noises in your dreams.  

In fact I love every single thing about you - except when bark excessively loudly and dramatically at the noise reversing lorries make (I can't hear one myself any more without wincing) and when you snap at the nieces and nephews (but let's talk about that another day).

My darling doglet, you give me so much happiness. When you are healthy and happy and enjoying life, then I'm happy too.

And now I'm going to make your birthday chicken you have instead of a cake - you're going to love it!

Happy birthday, tiny one.

x Rachel 

PS. For more Rocco, you'll find him on Facebook and Instagram so come and say hello.

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What's going to be your word for 2016?

I haven't done this for long really - just a couple of years - but coming across this exercise in setting an intention for the year ahead has had a huge impact on me and my life.  

It's also led me to so, so much more learning and friends and ideas and creativity and ways of seeing the world.

And it's so simple.  

Just setting an intention for the year ahead, and choosing a word that embodies that intention. 

Now, just two short years later, I see a lot of my friends and people in my communities all set their word/s and intention/s for the year ahead and it's fascinating and inspiring to hear what they're planning. 

When it first started for me, it was something I read about midway through 2013.  

This was a big year for me - a year of huge change, the year I realised it was up to me and no one else to grab my life by the horns and create the life I want - to take charge, to take responsibility, at last, for my own life.

It was a momentous realisation and one that I am passionate about talking about and sharing as I know that if I could be sleepwalking through my life for so long, then so can others and just as I found some people and ideas that inspired me to find out more - I want to talk about it too and share what I'm learning.

So it was midway through the year that I heard about deciding on a word for the year.  

I had just made some big decisions and given in my notice at a job that wasn't right for me at all.  However, I'm glad I did that job that wasn't right for me.  It was the final straw, it was then that I had the realisation that working, working, working and being so down and and yes a bit downtrodden by life to be honest wasn't what I wanted.  And nor was the reckless, carefree, slightly hysterical level of socialising and partying that went before - just other ways to block out the emptiness of not knowing or realising how to affect what happens in your life.

So, pretty momentous really, realising that it was me, just me, and only me, who could take charge of my own life.  Be the figurehead of my own ship. 

Anyway, my word, my intention, call it what you like, just jumped into my head that day in July 2013, when I was winding down what I didn't want to do and looking ahead to what I did.  

And that word was ALIVE.  

And ... exciting! It's honestly not over-stating it to say that's what happened to me that year, at least in how I felt it (I probably didn't look or seem that much different externally really).  

I took in big breaths of excitement and hope and awareness and possibility ... and came ALIVE (again).

It worked really well for me, having this intention set, this word of my own.  I started talking about it to friends and family, and my sisters both set their words and intentions for 2014 too. 

My word for 2014 was BOLD and that, that was just perfect.  

I learnt more, I took more in, I tried things out, I was open to trying and bold suited me absolutely perfectly ... 2014 was so full of boldness and possibility that nearing the end of the year I could barely contain excitement for all that 2015 would bring.  Honestly, I couldn't wait to get there! 

But then something happened.  I think I'd been too excited.  I couldn't settle on a word, on an intention, and that felt really odd after how naturally and easily the last two had come.  I tried on a few: Soar then Play.  Then Play didn't feel action-oriented enough.  I tried on Action. I tried on Play Fierce. 

A couple of months into the year I was trying out so much, trying on so much and feeling confused and tired and unexpectedly let down by the promise that 2015 had seemingly failed to show.

I look back now and I think my intention - having looked back at my actual actions - was EXPERIMENT. Or DISCOVER.  

But at the end of 2014 I was rushing headlong into something but without actually know what that was.  And that's fine too.  I know that having had that experience I'll think very differently if and when a word or feeling or intention doesn't come easily again.

But this year, for 2016, I've known my word for a while.  She snuck up on me and got close and I've been living with her for a couple of months now.

My intention for 2016 is GRACE.  

I am going to live in a GRACEFUL way and be GRACEFUL too.  

(I am after all a Tuesday's child, full of grace ... don't you know?)

Words mean different things to us all, so to clarify - for me, grace is a combination of generosity, elegance, calmness, kindness, lightness, thoughtfulness and ... hospitality - for want of a better word. Perhaps warmth would be that better word.

It's behaving and thinking and being - in a way that nurtures and leads through lightness and ease. 

It is going to shape how I choose to react to things and inform the ways I move forward on things. It feels a grown up part of me, but still with an essence of lightness and playfulness, but more mindful.  

Yes, more grown up. (But still with a lot of drive and passion behind it of course). 

So that's my intention for 2016.  

And if you're happy to share, I would LOVE to know what your word for 2016 is going to be - and what it means to you. 

Let me know in the comments (way, way, way down the bottom of the page) or of course, pop in to my FB page and comment there.

Whatever you decide, I wish you happiness, love and adventures in 2016.

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Hygge

THIS WORD!

I absolutely love language. I love the nuances of it.  

Yes, I love grammar and vocabulary - but as a means that one may express oneself and not be misunderstood.  That to me, is the importance of grammar - understanding and avoiding misunderstanding - especially in writing.  

And yes, I can be a bit of a traditionalist in spelling - why? Because I love how you can see a culture's history: of people, social history, important stuff, in the development of the language. Seemingly bizarre spellings can shed light on our history and I love this.  

And yes, I'm a words geek. And one of the things I love about words is hearing of and learning those words in other languages that we have no word for.

All the French ones that we use daily without thinking.  One of my very favourites - 'sanuk' in Thai (finding the fun and joy in life).  There's also a beautiful word 'kefi' - a Greek word meaning kind of joy and making the absolute best out of life (and it's the name of one of my dearest and oldest friends too).

I recently heard there's a word in Japanese to express the feeling of disappointment after a bad haircut! MUST try and find this one again.

But my favourite new one is this.  And I don't even have words for how much I love it.

Hygge

Pronounced sort of I think 'hoo-GAH'. This word is basically my dream word.

Please jump in and correct me if you know more ... but my (limited) understanding is that it was first a Norwegian word for 'well-being'.  

And then it became a word to express a mood.  And became very Danish too!  In fact, it became part of the fabric of Danish culture and has even been credited with why Denmark is one of the world's happiest places to live (despite the dark long nights and gloom).

It means way more than (literally) 'cosiness'.  

It means enjoying life's simple pleasures

Enjoying the good things in life.  Cosiness and family and get-togethers and candlelight and all sorts of good things. 

It's kind of like my favourite things all rolled into one lovely word. Un-rushed, cosy, snug, togetherness, happiness. It's a feeling, a mood. I love this.

And this is my favourite time of year for consciously injecting a bit of hygge into my life.

Cashmere sweaters and soft throws and velvet

Favourite candles (this time of year mine's the exquisite Feu de Bois from Diptique)

Long walks at the weekend through the leaves - perfect when it's chilly but bright

Dark evenings snuggled on the sofa with a book or film (and your fave person - and pets)

Hot chocolate made from squares from the bars of drinking chocolate they sell at the Spanish supermarket (or make your own)

Spending an evening listening to 'Under Milk Wood' with Richard Burton and a glass of whisky (and the lights turned off)

Laughing with friends and family over food

Bonfires in the garden

Log fires and wood burners (and roast chestnuts)

Sunday lunches in cosy pubs with open fires and warm booths

Putting the huge thick down-filled mattress topper on the bed and suddenly having a fairy-tale feather bed

And all the lovely stocking-up-for winter type things - piles of logs and leaves and storing apples

Blustery coastal walks

Oh and a perfect Swedish mulled wine recipe I found last year.

Glögg ... give it a go!

In the meantime, I'm home from a busy day and it's dark outside, but there's soft clothes and cashmere slouchy socks and a glass of red wine. 

Cosiness. Perfect. Hygge.

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